Falling Away

For the past couple of months I’ve noticed something about myself that I’m not proud of. Several things really, but one in particular. I’ve stopped trying. I stopped trying to blog (obviously) stopped trying to be creative, stopped trying in lots and lots of things. Most importantly, I’ve stopped trying to pursue my faith.  I go to church, and youth group, and camp, and I pray sometimes, and I talk about God sometimes, but I don’t try at all.

I don’t know what’s happening, and it’s making me really sad. I’ve lost some sort of passion that I used to have easily accessible. I had a spark close to the surface most times and it was reliable and comforting. Right now I just can’t find it.

I still have the same beliefs. I have the same needs and the same basic wants. I’m going through the same motions, but I don’t feel like I’m giving God room to be near me like I used to. I don’t really know how to explain what’s going on. And I don’t really know why I’m blogging about it other than I’m hoping for some encouragement and some “I was there, I know what you mean”s or “sometimes you have to do this”es or something. I want to just be fixed – to find the passion I used to know, to start feeling my faith, seeing its presence in my life.  How it is possible that I want it, and it’s not there to pull from like it used to be?

Growing up and growing in the faith is a really confusing thing sometimes. Any advice? Encouragement? Verses I can pull? I don’t want to speak for my husband too much, but I think he’s sort of experiencing the same thing lately. Any tips for couples who love God and love each other, but are lacking in passionate faith? We’re falling away from the things we hold dearest – and we need to get back.

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8 thoughts on “Falling Away

  1. Been there. Felt that. Would have bought the T-shirt but I didn’t have the energy. Kinda back there now.
    In my experience, it’s just a phase. It will pass. Sometimes a new experience helps to kick it into gear, but I honestly think the new experience only worked because I was ready for it. And I was ready for it, because… I just was.
    It’s also possible that you are being a bit hard on yourself. You’ve been through some changes lately. From the little I know about your life, you took a bunch of teens to Haiti, Dave changed jobs (and doesn’t seem to get the extra time at home he thought he would), you’ve changed jobs, you had a friend with a medical emergency, and you’ve been sick a couple of times. You could just be worn out – maybe not just the flesh, but the spirit is also in need of a bit of rest. Maybe just let go and let God carry you through the motions for a bit?
    If you know how to make it happen, a good long belly laugh would probably cure you. But sometimes those situations are hard to create.

    • Um. Yes. All of those things. Thank you so much for the encouragement Julie! I didn’t think about it like that – but now that you write it all out, it makes sense. Going to find that belly laugh now…

  2. Stephanie, I appreciate your honesty. And I can say I am going through the same thing right now. God has shown me lately that this happens when we don’t have His Word in our minds. I’ve tried every which way to get the passion back- going to church, improving relationships, getting more disciplined about my life, etc. Nothing has worked. And I realized in the past few days that God’s word is truly the bread of life. Nothing else can breathe life and passion into us like His Word.

  3. Well said Julie! All in all, God understands us better than we understand ourselves. I think the fact that you want to feel that passion again is a major deal and God knows that you want it. He will give you what you want and need in due time. For now, maybe just relax, don’t worry, don’t be hard on yourself and remember to trust that God is in charge of things. He just might surprise you and do something amazing when you least expect it.

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