For the past couple of months I’ve noticed something about myself that I’m not proud of. Several things really, but one in particular. I’ve stopped trying. I stopped trying to blog (obviously) stopped trying to be creative, stopped trying in lots and lots of things. Most importantly, I’ve stopped trying to pursue my faith. I go to church, and youth group, and camp, and I pray sometimes, and I talk about God sometimes, but I don’t try at all.
I don’t know what’s happening, and it’s making me really sad. I’ve lost some sort of passion that I used to have easily accessible. I had a spark close to the surface most times and it was reliable and comforting. Right now I just can’t find it.
I still have the same beliefs. I have the same needs and the same basic wants. I’m going through the same motions, but I don’t feel like I’m giving God room to be near me like I used to. I don’t really know how to explain what’s going on. And I don’t really know why I’m blogging about it other than I’m hoping for some encouragement and some “I was there, I know what you mean”s or “sometimes you have to do this”es or something. I want to just be fixed – to find the passion I used to know, to start feeling my faith, seeing its presence in my life. How it is possible that I want it, and it’s not there to pull from like it used to be?
Growing up and growing in the faith is a really confusing thing sometimes. Any advice? Encouragement? Verses I can pull? I don’t want to speak for my husband too much, but I think he’s sort of experiencing the same thing lately. Any tips for couples who love God and love each other, but are lacking in passionate faith? We’re falling away from the things we hold dearest – and we need to get back.