Transparency

So there’s this sweet little baby named Wesley that I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with lately. He makes me want to start a kidnapping career. That’s not a creepy joke, right?

Spending several hours a day with him has stirred up all kinds of baby fever in me. And it’s that super fun kind of baby fever where everything makes me cry all of the time. I mean really… everything. Things that have made me cry in the past week: Bible stories, music, the Cosby show, worrying about the 3 people I know who are/ were in the hospital, phone conversations with people pretending to be lawyers that are actually crooks, finding out that the crooks are crooks and not lawyers, talking about my friend Mindy, dropping a pile of chopped red peppers on the dirty kitchen floor, frustration with Dave’s overtime, headaches, seeing other people cry, and, of course, not having a baby of my own to rock to sleep.  You know… eeeeeverythiiiiiiing.

At one point last week, I was talking to my mom on the phone about our friends Kevin and Mindy, Dave had just hung up with our bank to ask for advice and put a stop payment on the $1500 that was on its way to “the crooks” who tricked me on the phone (I’m very trusting and naive), and I started shivering. I wasn’t cold – I was freaking out. My hands broke out in a stress rash, and I couldn’t stop shaking. It was like the past 48 hours had punched me in the gut and thrown me into traffic. I haven’t been able to sleep, I have been eating poorly, I’ve had headaches every day, and honestly, I’m annoyed with myself that the baby issues are showing up this week. I’ve got other things to deal with, you know?

So that’s me this week. Lovely, isn’t it? Now you may be able to see why I haven’t blogged lately.

But on a positive note, I am so thankful for the way my community has come together to help our friends. I’ve sat back to think about it several times lately… there are friends who are bringing by meals, gift cards, diapers, groceries, etc. They’re helping organize bills, take the boys out of the house to have fun, cleaning the kitchen, changing diapers, snuggling the kids, and so much more. This is what it feels like to truly be part of the body of Christ. It’s been a blessing to me to be a part of that and to watch it happening. It’s made me so thankful for my friends. So incredibly thankful.

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6 thoughts on “Transparency

  1. Ok, Stephanie. Now you have me crying. I have learned to revel in the “girlness” of it over the years…I spontaneously combust…get all puffy-eyed (have I mentioned I am THE UGLIEST cry-er on earth?! I am.) and then, a peace comes over me that can only come from God. He holds us. Even in our most “girlness” times of life. I will keep you and Dave in my prayers. Thanks for sharing-I hope that knowing you have all of your friends, family and followers walking alongside you will bring you comfort–even in the times of tears. xoxoxo

  2. O, Steph, I am so sorry that you have had such a rough couple wks. 😦 Know that my heart and prayers are with you guys and also with your friends who are going through such a rough time. It would be great if we could be see the body of Christ at work so spectacularly when we are NOT in crisis mode, but that seems to be the only time it has opportunity to blow our socks off that way. So, if nothing else, that is one positive in the midst of crisis – getting to be a part of and see His body workk the way it is supposed to. Still not easy though, and we will keep praying.

  3. So not only do we get the same hand rash, but I also get the stress shivers. It’s a good time. I got them this week after Evan passed out in the bathroom in the middle of the night. (He’s fine. It was a combination of standing up too fast and new medication.) I had to turn the electric blanket on high to get them to go away.

    Oh, and I cried every day between last Friday and the following Thursday. Hello, hormones. Ugh.

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