Looking Forward To…

My boss asked me today to start thinking of my 3 year goals for my personal life and my career today, so I’ve been trying to put those desires into manageable goals. It’s really fun for me, because I’m always looking forward to stuff I’m ready to get excited about. Sometimes that’s a bad thing, but often it’s great. I’m in a listy sort of mood lately it seems. So these are the things I’m looking forward to short-term. Today’s list is titled, “This is why fall is awesome.” Also, this list could be titled, “a fraction of the things I’m going to try to cram in to the next 2 months.”

Camping (Preferably with friends who also love camping. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

Boots, jackets, scarves, sweaters

Cider (I mean, really.)

Drive-in movies when it’s chilly out (We went to the drive in on Friday and I had to use 2 blankets. It was magical.) (Also, sometimes when I’m in real life, I write poems or what sound like short excerpts from stories that are TOTALLY unlike the kind of writing I do here on ye olde blog. I wrote one on Friday about the drive in that I really liked but now I can’t remember it. I should start writing these things down.)

Pumpkin things: lattes, muffins, patch, seeds… you get the idea (I will bite people who try to take my freshly baked pumpkin seeds.)

Bluegrass and folky music (Fall has the best music of all the seasons.)

Heaters (I love being cold and turning on the heater. It’s like a giant house hug.)

High School football games

Tennessee hills and changing leaves (duh)

Homemade soup and stew (I made a barley, okra, carrot stew the other day that was AMAZING!)

What about you? What has got you excited about the next couple of months?
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Everyone’s Favorite Random Post Post

My life is the tiniest bit chaotic right now. I haven’t figured things out yet. Which is, I know, surprising to hear from a 25 year old. But it’s true. So to match my current situation, today’s blog post is a little chaotic too. And also longwinded! Sorry!

-This time of year, a couple things happen to me. The first is that I feel very overwhelmed and moody. Hence the last month or so of blog posts. The second is that I feel the urge to clean and reorganize and change my life. I’m somewhere in the middle of those two things now. I’m not too overwhelmed or moody right now, and I want to clean and change my life, but I haven’t really done that yet. So… I guess I’m just in my lazy phase?

-Shopping could easily get pretty out of control for me. It dramatically lifts my mood, and I hate that about myself. But Dave and I are a little bit desperate for new clothes right now. I mean, not actually desperate. We’re just desperate enough that we’re justified as fancy-pants Middle Tennesseans to buy new clothes, but feel guilty as used to be mid-Missouri middle/lower class kids. So… I bought a bunch of stuff WAY on sale and I’m excited about it. I’m the queen of thrifty shopping. A happy little uberconsumer, midwest transplant next door to one of the wealthiest county in the US. But don’t you worry about me; I’ll find my way here.

-I accidentally fell in love with a house that’s SUPER CHEAP and SUPER BEAUTIFUL and really freaking huge (2700 square feet!). It’s only 4 years old; and GET THIS – it’s like half off! Remember that whole bargain shopping thing I just told you about? Seriously, this house originally sold for $233,000 and now it’s listed for $129,000 (foreclosure!). I’m a little bit insane over it right now. The craziest thing is, Dave likes it too. We drove past it and he saw the 20×20 room that would be his studio and the 2 car garage/wood shop and he got a little fluttery, I think. Poor guy; I’m not sure he knows how to have feelings like this. We’re asking my boss about it – if it’s actually a once in a lifetime deal (it seems like it is) or if we should just wait it out. I trust her judgement. That was probably too much detail; can you tell I’m excited?

– MY PARENTS ARE COMING TO SEE ME!!! They’ll get here Thursday and leave this weekend. The older I get, the more thankful I am for them in my life. Also, I cannot believe this every time I think about it; one of the very very best friends I have ever had and will ever have (Lillian) has not met my dad! Who I really like! So I’m kinda excited about that.

– I bought pretty oil pastels the other day that are copper and gold metallic because I thought they’d be pretty eyeshadow and I WAS RIGHT! Who knew you could get nice makeup at the art supply store? I really love art supplies.

Words

One time I started listing my love languages and realized at the end of my list that I had just listed all of them. I really like to love and be loved, I guess. But honestly one of my love languages is words of affirmation.

I have cards from middle school where friends would write encouraging words, emails from years ago where someone said, “want you to know I’m praying for you” or “you’re going to be an awesome mom someday” or something else that maybe felt meaningless to them but was so incredibly meaningful to me.

So I just wanted to say thanks to you quiet supporters who slip in a sweet comment here and there. Thank you Evelyn for the Facebook message you sent me in February. It meant so much to me. Thanks Dave for saying you’d “sop me up” when I said I was a puddle of sad… even though I’m not exactly sure what that means. Thank you Rebecca for the countless words of encouragement and prayers – you’re a sweet, sweet friend and I’m more grateful for you than I can express. Thank you Amber for the note you passed me in 8th grade that said you were in a bad mood but you cheered up when you thought about my shoes making black marks all down the hallway. It made me laugh. And thanks Jamie for the card you gave me in 8th grade that said I was the best friend you’d ever had. Thanks so much to Cayla for your sweet words over the past decade; I hold them dear. Thank you to Julie, Tiffany, Susan, Abi, Jen, and Angie for all the lovely blog comments that always make me smile. Thank you Kelli for knowing just what to say to encourage me and calm my anxious heart when I need it. Thank you mom and dad and mom-and-dad-in-law for your prayers and encouragement all along, but especially the past couple of trying-for-baby years. Thank you Amanda for your words of encouragement when I am struggling spiritually; thank you Lillian for always making me laugh – those words I need sometimes more than any others. Thank you Molly, McKinley, Clayton, Megan, Emily, Ian, Chris, Jake, Jimmy, Huston, and Lance for the encouragement notes in Haiti – I will keep them forever and only cry when I read them occasionally.

There are more of you to thank. More things I need to say to all of you, but I don’t have the space to do so. Guys, words are so important. Use them wisely.

Game Nights

Sometime in the near future I will have a clean house so I can invite people over and not have to say things like, “sorry about the mess” or “I’m not really sure where that smell is coming from.” But until that time, we have all our game nights over at my friend Lillian’s house. This is good because Lillian likes to make snacks for us. And we! love! snacks! Also this is good because I have a terrible fear of leaving people out. Insane fear, even. But because it’s not at my house, I’m not in charge of who is invited and who is not. Though, if you want to come, I’m sure Lillian would let you. She’s very welcoming.

There are a handful of times in my life where I’ve laughed so hard, I was in physical pain. Most of them happened at game night. You see, when you get a group of 8-20 adults together (ages 20-50) and play things like *Telephone-Pictionary and Things, you’re going to do a lot of laughing. We are particularly raucous. Often we’re laughing at inappropriate things, of course, but sometimes not… probably?

This is me realizing that I took the game to a completely terrible place on accident. I really think it was Dave’s fault for drawing the picture he drew in Telephone-Pictionary. It was really really awful. Pardon the blurry cell shot, that’s the kind of picture you take when you’re violently shaking from laughter.

So, here’s the thing. If you want to have super-awesome game nights at your house, here are some tips: 1) the more the merrier. Game nights can get a little awkward with just a few people. 2) play a game that isn’t TOO competitive. People get weird when they’re competing. Things and Telephone-Pictionary are perfect. 3) recurring jokes are a hit. If someone is new to the party, catch them up before hand on some common inside jokes so they don’t feel like the odd man out.

So try it out. Make some new friends, get closer to the ones you’ve already got. If you try it, this may be you lying on the floor and crying because you’re laughing so hard.

*For instructions to play Telephone-Pictionary, go here.

Stepping Forward

August hit the 2 year mark of trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant. After the first year, the doctor offered a prescription for fertility medication, but Dave and I decided together that we didn’t want to try that just yet. We sort of wanted to “wait and see” how it went with the other medication I was on and a change of diet and lifestyle. But over the past couple of months, I’ve been leaning more toward starting a fertility drug, and just decided in the past few days to go for it.

People came out of the woodwork to tell me their Clomid stories when I posted about it on facebook and twitter. I was so encouraged by the things people had to say. I heard a couple people who didn’t love it, but didn’t hate it, but mostly success stories. Because SO MANY women came forward to share with me about it, I decided that it would be beneficial for me to be public about my fertility treatment journey. And let’s be honest, I don’t often have difficulty being public with semi-private matters. Amiright?

So I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment in the next couple of weeks and get started. I’m hopeful and excited and just the slightest bit nervous (on Dave’s behalf, I think) about the possibility of twins… or triplets.

If you’d like to say a big fat “please work!” prayer with me, I wouldn’t be mad about it.

Switching Gears

Alright, time to get happy here again. One sad post per week isn’t how I like to roll. Back to our normally scheduled programming.

This weekend, I decided I was on a hunt for a book shelf. A tall one with deep shelves preferably. So we checked out Hailey Salvage, our favorite little salvage yard in Nashville. I hold the opinion that everyone should have a favorite salvage yard. I didn’t find a book shelf, but I did find 100 other things I wanted.

We didn’t purchase anything there (even the glass/wood hutch we could have refinished and sold for over twice its price), so we went to a yard sale and browsed around there for a bit. I love being able to just wander around and hang out with Dave like that. I’m so thankful for the weekends he doesn’t have to work. You start appreciating those things when they’re few and far between.

This weekend was a great time of rejuvenation, for lack of a better word. I feel very rested and ready to start fall off on the right foot. These things sure helped.

Sweet Wes snuggles.

Game night at the neighbors’ house – laughing with friends.

Starbucks Ice Cream for the first time. Definitely not the last time.

Transparency

So there’s this sweet little baby named Wesley that I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with lately. He makes me want to start a kidnapping career. That’s not a creepy joke, right?

Spending several hours a day with him has stirred up all kinds of baby fever in me. And it’s that super fun kind of baby fever where everything makes me cry all of the time. I mean really… everything. Things that have made me cry in the past week: Bible stories, music, the Cosby show, worrying about the 3 people I know who are/ were in the hospital, phone conversations with people pretending to be lawyers that are actually crooks, finding out that the crooks are crooks and not lawyers, talking about my friend Mindy, dropping a pile of chopped red peppers on the dirty kitchen floor, frustration with Dave’s overtime, headaches, seeing other people cry, and, of course, not having a baby of my own to rock to sleep. ¬†You know… eeeeeverythiiiiiiing.

At one point last week, I was talking to my mom on the phone about our friends Kevin and Mindy, Dave had just hung up with our bank to ask for advice and put a stop payment on the $1500 that was on its way to “the crooks” who tricked me on the phone (I’m very trusting and naive), and I started shivering. I wasn’t cold – I was freaking out. My hands broke out in a stress rash, and I couldn’t stop shaking. It was like the past 48 hours had punched me in the gut and thrown me into traffic. I haven’t been able to sleep, I have been eating poorly, I’ve had headaches every day, and honestly, I’m annoyed with myself that the baby issues are showing up this week. I’ve got other things to deal with, you know?

So that’s me this week. Lovely, isn’t it? Now you may be able to see why I haven’t blogged lately.

But on a positive note, I am so thankful for the way my community has come together to help our friends. I’ve sat back to think about it several times lately… there are friends who are bringing by meals, gift cards, diapers, groceries, etc. They’re helping organize bills, take the boys out of the house to have fun, cleaning the kitchen, changing diapers, snuggling the kids, and so much more. This is what it feels like to truly be part of the body of Christ. It’s been a blessing to me to be a part of that and to watch it happening. It’s made me so thankful for my friends. So incredibly thankful.