You know, as well as I, that our relationship is strained. You are constantly there for me – always ready to take me back when I have failed you. For that, I am thankful. I have cursed you behind your back, cheated on you, and openly denied your existance. For that, I apologize. I do want you to know, though, that I’m really trying this time. Dr. Pepper walked in front of me today in the break room, and I totally ignored him – right to his face. Because, though I can’t say I’m in love with you, I do love the idea that you can change my life. So, dieting, why don’t you come over here and rock my world.